Whether you’re giving advice as a best man for a loveable best man speech, or looking for advice for your own marriage here are my best tips…
My secret to a long marriage is only one sentence.
It says: Before the sun goes down, be reconciled. Ok, this sentence is not mine, not even by your grandmother or grandfather. There is a millennia-old wisdom – as old as marriage itself before the sun goes down, be reconciled. Why reconciled? What will you fight for? Of course not! But this sentence means: be yourselves, but be deeply committed. You are two people with two thoughts, two characters.
In other words, remain faithful to each other, but you also remain true to yourself.
Say what you think, and maintain to your interests. You may well argue sometimes. It would be boring if it were otherwise. But that only works if you apply the advice: Be reconciled, before the sun goes down! Never carry disagreement into the next few days!
Stay true to yourself and your wishes and dreams. There is a known proverb: “you grow, to wander far, prepare yourself for a rapid flight. Be faithful and true to yourself is the other, then a corner far enough.” This saying “be faithful to yourself and true to the other,” shows that it is also important to stay true to yourself. This means that you have not lost sight of one’s own desires, hopes and dreams.
I wish that you, on your common path, do not each lose sight of your goals and dreams. Some people think that with marriage, it is harder to live one’s dreams. But that’s not true. Now you can plan together to help each other, and not put the dreams of the other under the table. It is not twice as hard, but twice as easy to live a happy life. And now we all have to give our blessing and our good wishes. There you have it not only twice as easy, but three times easier to live your dreams and your life will be long and happy.
I have however already experienced several years of marriage. And I wondered what the secret to a long marriage is. I’ve found an answer. You probably expected a sentence like “Always love each other!” Or “Do not quarrel!” My tip is completely different. It reads – “You contend!” Goethe said: “In marriage you have to argue sometimes, just as one learns something from each other!” I would say: If you look at a time to argue, you remain alive and living together is long-lasting. But be sure that the same person does not always win the fight.
Tell each other what you think and be open, express your interests. Fight fair. Do not beat below the belt. Find solutions together. Love each other deeply as you live.